Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Usurper

I am the one who changed the password. You can call me The Usurper. And I may change it again, just because I can.

Now that Aldie has retired, the aid blog scene is as boring as a peace-corps party given for the local mormon missionaries. Even this place starts to look more like some retard's tedious myspace (please-please friend-me). 

Here is a fact: aid blogs get as much critical thinking as the UN's strategic plan. I have just done a round and for fuck's sake people, have some dignity. 

All you get is pretentious wankers writing endlessly about some obscure shit or if not, some other sort of long, tedious, self-important masturbation of people who most certainly perpetuate the sort of inneffective "aid systems" they are busy rationalizing on their stupid blogs. You get categorical statements and pompous attempts to formulate pseudo-scientific principles about "aid", in bullet points. And you get smug, patronizing morons desperate to attract more hits on their shitty websites and please anyone "influential" enough to get them a like and a follower on twitter.

It's like a ride in an UNDPKO elevator, but worse.  

You even get people trying to sell their own t-shirts and mugs (Aldie even you are twitter chums with some of them).   

Who the fuck reads all this shit, never-mind write it? When do they find the time to "save lives" and apply the higher standards they preach?

What you people need is more beer. And a life.

Piss me off and I'll return with links.

The Usurper
PS - Aldie, if you delete my post you are a shit like the rest of them and I'll change the password again.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Pretty Fucking Please With Sugar on Top

So here I am enjoying my retirement on a humble golf estate, out of sight/ out of mind of some train-wreck of a slum, with the right mix of good climate, availability of wine and good choice of servants, practicing my swing and lowering my handicap, when "work" catches up with me in the form of an emergency.

As all of yous remember, I have decided to crowd-source this important newsletter to impress donors with HRI's modernity and innovation and to free up some space on my busy agenda for more serious activities, such as the aforementioned improvement of my handicap.

Work catches up, I say, in the form of an emergency, complaints filling my inbox reporting that some asshole changed the password, making crowdsourcing very difficult as it were, putting the whole well-thought strategy at risk, endangering lives and wastuing everyone's time in the process.

So I rushed and responded to this emergency with the sort of speed and efficiency that made HRI famous, and here are the new credentials:

(comic sans forever)
So guys? Pretty fucking please with sugar on top, don't fuck with the password anyomore. OK?

Now, where was my wood?