Monday, October 31, 2011

I am Aikido Aidworker

Dr. Kurtz has humiliated me in public long enough.

I am Aikido Aidworker. I am strong. I am peace. I am Zen with my logframe, and business class ticket.

I am here. Next to you on the plane, behind you in the working group, in front of you in the passenger seat of the Land-cruiser as the driver illuminates the past into the present.

I am Aikido Aidworker - the Usurper.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Doctor's Orders

This is Dr. Peacekeeper. Your friendly "Bones" in an unnamed peacekeeping operation, usually in Africa. Oh Africa, what a gawd awful place, at least its a long way from my ex-wife. No doubt she feels the same.

I am very grateful to HRI for allowing me this space.

Unlike HRI, and Dr. Kurtz, I really do not give much of a toss about stakeholders and you hand-ringing Aid types. However, I am very fond of the fresh volunteers that get off the C-130 every week. The most interesting ones are the alluring HRI interns looking for a way out of country.

One thing that I have discovered is that the lost and earnest EAW and UN Volunteer wants to fly on my UN transport planes. Without a little chit from me they cannot get that all important MOP (Movement of Personnel) form signed on short notice. I have real power, as they desperately want to get out of country.

Why are they so dedicated to the 3 day trip beyond the wire? So they can skype back to Mum and Dad from their shiny iPad telling them how bloody hip it is to be a peacekeeper. All from the edge of a salted pool, with slinky bums parading up and down the pool deck.

The things they will do for that chit. They follow doctor's orders.

I might have to get back to the bar now. I do not blog or tweet much, its just not as satisfying as a Pink Gin.

Who is Dr. Kurtz?

It's been a while this "electronic newsletter" going - so long that I have lost count of all the interns that passed through and learned the ropes under my visionary leadership.

I have also had my share of constructive feedback, which I duly "actionized" using the appropuiate tool-kit, in order to become a better person:
And obviously, this improvement of the person process has also not gone unnoticed:

But most importantly, during all this this time I have never allowed myself to step out of character, and have generally tried to remain dignified in my bubbly existence.

Like you, at times I have been accused of being "that guy who writes that blog", and like you I have duly denied it. The fact that it may have been me is obviously irrelevant because you knows it: all of yous is just a little bit Dr. Kurtz, just a little bit Hand Relief.

So then, in order to allow Dr. Kurtz all the creative freedom his oversized ego deserves, why not bring this to its logical conclusions and spell it out right here right now, black on white:

Who is Dr. Kurtz?
Well, obviously, it is you, reader.

And if you don't believe me, go to and check it out:

(comic sans forever)
 And in the unlikely event you are wondering what the angle is, well, I have it from reliable sources that donors these days are suckers for "crowdsourcing", so why not crowdsource the shit out of this "newsletter" and ride the innovations gravy train?

Sure, it may happen that the "newsletter" will turn into a platform for promoting "intimate enhancers" and business opportunities involving Gaddafi's many surviving relatives, but to the right kind of eye that in itself is nothing but a great "PPP" opportunity.

So, see you around the next junket, reader, and do keep up the enabling environment synergies that build capacity and continue to streamline cooperation - those vulnerable people in our calendar pictures will be forever grateful.

UPDATE: here's open source at its best: some despicable character has changed the password, so here is the new one:
comic sans forever 2
And Guys? Do me a favor? Please stop fucking with the password, ok? Think of all the poor children that need our help.